First of all, I would like to give a huge thank you to Maria for having me guest write for Confessions of a Corporate Mom. How exciting is it that we have this platform to share our stories, but most importantly, to build this incredible community. Being a corporate mom is tough and trying to find that fine line of work/life balance is something that I will admit is never 50/50. I once heard one of the VP’s at the company I work for say she didn’t believe in work/life “balance.” She believes in work and she believes in life, but doesn’t truly think there is a balance to it. This really stuck with me. While I try to maintain “normal” office hours, I work on weekends, in the evenings, before the twins wake up, and sometimes while they are eating dinner.
But, let me backup a minute and introduce myself.
My name is Meagen Post from ToastoPost.com.
I started my blog almost three years ago and truly had no direction as to what I was doing. Seriously. I was sitting in a hotel room in Minnesota with my now ex-husband on a work trip and thought, “I want to start a blog.” It was more of an online journal where I would document things I did and items I liked. Then, right as I was really starting to find my groove, I broke my ankle in a horse-riding accident. Then, Hurricane Harvey hit. Throughout all of that, all I wanted so badly was to become a Mom. Trying to become pregnant is one of the most heartbreaking things you will go through, as I’m sure many of you know. Month after month, the letdown, the tears, the anxiety, followed by the excitement and motivation to “try again” just to repeat the process over again – it was just too much for me and I lost all motivation and excitement. We finally decided to do IVF, and after one failed attempt (and finding out while at work and trying to run out of the office without everyone seeing me bawling crying) and after what seemed like forever, I got the call saying I was pregnant, and sure enough, it was TWINS.
The moment the twins were born my entire life changed, and I found my purpose.
I no longer had the feeling of emptiness and brokenness, but instead felt alive, fulfilled, and of course, tired. As I was returning to work and starting to really get back into my blog and Instagram, I got so tired of seeing the same girls over and over showing off their $10 romper that comes in 14 different colors and brunching every day. I started following #workwear and there was not much content at all. Occasionally, one of the big bloggers would post a #workwearwednesday on her feed or blog, and I realized I now had the opportunity to showcase what a corporate mom returning to work from maternity leave looked like. The struggles of what to wear, meal prepping, bottle prepping for daycare, managing appointments with work schedules, pumping at work, and being just flat out exhausted. I returned to work in November of 2018.
I went into 2019 extremely motivated and passionate about ToasttoPost.com. When I was still pumping, I would wake up at 4:45 am, pump, get myself dressed and ready to walk out the door, then wake up the twins, feed them, get them dressed and be out the door by 6:15 AM. There were – and still are – mornings that by the time I get to my desk at work, I already have 3,000 – 4,000 steps and want a nap! Now, life has changed a little bit for us – and everyone else. I have been working from home for 3.5 months with no date on when we will return to the office. I’ve had so many mixed feelings about working from home, and lately really just miss seeing my coworkers. I miss socializing so much and just having those brief interactions in the kitchen, while on walks around the campus, or just being able to go into a friend’s office and vent.
The twins have gone to daycare the entire time. I felt so extremely guilty
about this for about a month. I never posted anything about them going to daycare because I was
scared to get called out by someone.
But, y’all. I can’t even unload the dishwasher with them at home
sometimes. How would I be able to work?
A couple of weeks into the “new normal” and working from home, I had a situation where I felt completely validated that they were continuing to go to daycare. I work half day Fridays, so I like to pick them up early on Friday afternoons – of course after naptime and snack time – I’m not crazy enough to mess with those two crucially important parts of their day. So, on this particular Friday, I picked them up right after I knew they were done with snack, and as I was driving home, I got a work call. I kind of panicked and immediately thought, “I’ll put on Blippi, they’ll be fine, this shouldn’t take long.” Well, it didn’t take long, but it was the longest 15 minutes EVER! By the end of it, my office was covered in puffs, they were screaming and yelling, typing on my keyboard, moving the mouse, and helping to rearrange the décor in my office. Luckily only one bowl was broken……That was in the span of 15 minutes. It was in that moment that I realized they need to go to school for me to remain employed. And I need to remain employed if they want to eat. And from that point on, I didn’t feel guilty again.
As corporate Mom in the era of Covid-19, it is hard to “be fine.”
The industry I work in is being hit HARD by this pandemic. While there has been a slight recovery, I still wake up every day wondering what I would do if I am in the next round of layoffs. A huge portion of the company was put on furlough or part-time status three months ago, and sadly, they just extended it by another 90 days. How do I stay calm and fun and positive around my ever so observant two year old twins when in the back of my mind there is always the thought of, “What am I going to do?” And now, on the brink of another shut down, these thoughts are becoming more and more apparent. What I’ve been doing lately is really focusing on the things I can control. While I allow myself to feel worried at times, I don’t let those feelings control
me. I turn the negative energy into a positive energy and instead take the twins on a walk, or play in the backyard, or even cook a healthy meal for us. To round this off, when I first started working from home, I was excited to have more “life” out of the work/life scenario. While I spend most of my days in my office at home, I do have the opportunity to throw in a load of laundry, pick up groceries, or walk Lola, my dapple dachshund. My blog and Instagram have kind of naturally transitioned to more of a mommy blogger feed, and that’s okay. I may have switched out the Stuart Weitzman pumps for J. Crew house shoes, and work dresses for work out clothes, but I am still a corporate mom….who isn’t as tired because I get to sleep in (yay for no commute!)
I always sign off with Cheers! As a former cheerleader, I think it’s one of the happiest sayings out there….so with that said, Cheers ~ MP